An Unlikely Pastor

I am going to be totally honest with you and tell you … I don’t listen to “Christian radio stations” or watch “christian films.” I said that to someone at my church a couple of weeks ago – and I am pretty sure that we are no longer on speaking terms because of it. So go ahead and send me the letters of condemnation and anger now. I am sure I deserve them. But before you go off all angry – let me tell you about my sometimes aversion to Christian Media.

Out-Of-Touchism… That’s a word right? As Christians – I think we can and sometimes do come across as isolationists… We have a club that if you don’t belong to it – you can’t hang out in our clubhouse. That’s fine for The Elks Club – but it’s not what Jesus set up for us. Remember that He was the guy that hung out with the prostitutes and the cheaters and the swindlers and all ilk in between. In Mark 2:17 He said, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” Jesus met people where they were… He didn’t say – “Hey – pick your junk up and come over here to me.” He talked to them in ways they would understand – He connected with them on their level. I have a feeling He would be just as comfortable standing next to me in the middle of a smoke filled arena for a rock show as he would be at a Gaither Trio worship night. So how does that relate to Christian Media? Well honestly it’s not always the case that Christian Media is isolationist – I’ll admit that. There are lots of cross over artists, musicians, actors that do a beautiful job of weaving their craft with messages about Jesus and God that don’t just come across as preachy, out of touch or better than thou… So while I list this first – it’s not my biggest issue – just the main thing that I think needs to be guarded against…

The “Blah” factor… That’s probably my biggest issue – but it is just personal to me. The movies – definitely – and the music – for the most part – just don’t grab me. It’s not my bag baby. It doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you liking it or even loving it… But does it make me less of a Christ Follower because I don’t? I like music that has an edge and movies that are quirky and/or dark. I love being able to talk about music and film – and some of my best relationships have developed with people out of both. (In full disclosure, I also don’t have a Fish Logo or a bumper sticker on my car that says Jesus Is My Co-Pilot – but that’s a whole different post I think.) I feel like you are judging me right now. But I am crazy paranoid about that kind of thing… Nahh – not really.

A friend told me recently he had a conversation with someone who wanted to know – “if Jesus were here today, what movies would He watch?” Interesting question. I think the answer is that He probably wouldn’t. I mean being omnipotent has got to take the fun out of watching a cliff-hanger movie. Can you imaging watching Sixth Sense with Jesus? The opening scene starts and Jesus says “that guy is totally a ghost! Bam!! Let’s go grab a pizza.” Yes I am joking… I know Jesus would never ruin the ending of a movie. He wouldn’t be that guy. I think if Jesus answered that question himself – He would answer it in typical Jesus fashion and ask back “what would you have me watch?” That is a way tougher question!! Hmmm… would it be Fireproof? Or The Left Behind Movies?? The choices are so many!! Me… I would want him to watch my family home movies. I would want to sit and laugh and cry with him as we watch my kids grow up in front of the camera… to see the old movies of my dad and grandparents – who are gone now. I think He would completely light up watching my little girl dance to Michael Jackson songs or to see my granddad teaching me to ride a bicycle when I was a kid or to watch me and my wife’s country Tennessee wedding that was filmed from the back of the church with a cheap camera … I think He would find pure joy in all of it… And then I think he’d say – let’s go get a pizza!!

I don’t think the answer to mainstream media is Christian Media ”only.” If mainstream media gets between you and your relationship with Jesus – don’t watch it. Don’t listen to it. If only listening to Christian radio stations helps you connect with Him – then do that. If like me – you love listening to punk rock and old country music and watching movies about vampires or war and it doesn’t pull you away from God – then that’s ok too. One day I guess we all will know the answer … Maybe I’ll be right and find out that Jesus was mad too when Arrested Development got cancelled.

I am relatively new to the pastor thing… 11 years. I’ve got tee shirts (that don’t fit anymore) that have been in my life longer than the pastor gig. But time is definitely a relative thing. 11 years in some ways feels like a life time. Some of the issues I have walked through with families and individuals in that time frame are overwhelming… from both grief and celebration standpoints. You experience the highest of highs and the lowest of lows with families – from births to deaths, weddings and divorces, heartbreak and joy and everything in between. I wouldn’t trade any of my time so far for anything else in the world. I love being a pastor and I love – loving people.

Loving church on the other hand sometimes gets sticky. Don’t hear me wrong – I love the church where I work. I have an amazing staff and our people are wonderful!! I also recognize Jesus established the church and we are His bride and I believe wholeheartedly in “The Church” corporately. But it’s that corporately part that seems to have been lost.

It’s just a very frustrating thing when you step back and look at how “The Church” has become something so radically different from Acts 2. “Church” has become lots of smaller – and not so small – collections of people each trying to do their own thing… Church B builds new building with newer better seats and better technology to grow to be a bigger better version of itself. All the while Church A that existed for years right down the road from Church B’s new location – is now struggling… eventually shutting it’s doors. Church B says well – Church A wasn’t relevant, they weren’t communicating the gospel effectively, they didn’t fit into the construct of the new world, their time was up… How many years until Church C opens in Church A’s original location and puts Church B under? It goes on and on and on… It’s all very frustrating.

I was approached a couple of years ago by another church in Cincinnati. They told me they were paying a courtesy call to give our church notice that they were planning to … insert dramatic piano chords here… open a branch down the street from us and they knew it would impact our attendance!! GASP!!! I laughed. Then I asked why they were opening a branch here in Milford, Ohio. Was it because they felt God leading them here? Did they see that we weren’t providing for the community effectively? Nope. They said it was because they had hired a consulting firm and the consulting firm felt that our area matched them well in per capita household income, education and other demographic data. I didn’t laugh that time. I felt overwhelming sadness. They were opening a satellite branch because a consulting firm said they should? Because it would help them grow? Because it would be people who could financially support them? Side note: I never heard from them again – and now 2 years later they have yet to open their branch here. Maybe the demographics shifted…

Another church that I didn’t work at but attended for a few years before going into ministry had a similar experience. They had broken ground on expanding their new auditorium and then received a phone call from a gigantic “sister” church in a neighboring community. The sister church – same denomination – told them they wanted to give them a courtesy call as well. They had just purchased acreage that was adjoining to their church. They planned on building a multi-million dollar satellite site next to them and they thought it might be a good idea that cancel their expansion project – or at least downsize it. They didn’t want to see them take on debt that they wouldn’t be able to repay in the shadow of their colosseum. Good thing we look out for one another.

Can you tell that this stuff drives me crazy? Why in the world are we planting churches in communities where there are already churches?!? Communities need Jesus… not trendier pastors with bigger and better equipped technologically advanced church buildings! What happened to “I must decrease so that He might increase?” If I ever start a Bible College (and no I can promise you that will never happen) requirement number 1 is that every student gets John 3:30 tattooed on their wrist.

What would it look like if Church B went to Church A and said HOW CAN WE HELP YOU?!? How can we come along side you and help so you can better reach the world around you? What needs do you have? Where are you struggling? The only reason not to do that is if we are too concerned with having more members, more money and more influence. The world doesn’t need our mega-churches… they need to experience our mega-love.

Yes I have heard all of the arguments about competing with the world for the attention of the people. I used to make that same lame argument but the truth is the way we are currently “doing” church – we are losing the battle. In 1990, church attendance in the US was about 20% of all households – meaning those people would attend some weekends of the year… It’s estimated at the current rate of decline that figure will be about 10% by 2050. Not only does trying to build bigger fancier buildings with cooler toys and technology not win their attention… we shouldn’t want to compete for their attention in the first place… we need to want their hearts… We need to want the world to embrace the love of Christ. To find Him in our community. To find Him in our actions.

I’m sick and tired of it. I’m ready to see all of our churches become “The Church” … to lay down our own agendas of bigger, better and just be real with one another. Today I am praying for Milford Christian Church, Rivertree Church, Faith Church, St. Andrew the Apostle Church, Milford United Methodist, Calvary United Methodist, First Baptist Church of Milford, Harvest Pointe Christian Church, United Church of God… all of the churches around me… and Eastside Christian Church where I work. I pray that we all introduce people missing from God to the amazingly abundant love of His Son Jesus Christ… Helping one another as we go… Sharing our blessings and carrying one another’s burdens…

It’s time for a revolution.

A couple of weekends ago I was teaching about forgiveness. That’s a hard thing to talk through because it’s a hard thing to do… To forgive. But that’s not what this is about. If you want to hear that you can go here.

The verse I ended with that weekend is a rough one. It’s near the end of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount – Matthew 7:21-23. All of Jesus’ teachings while He was on earth were challenging… He never shied away from telling hard truths – and he rarely minced words – usually cutting to the quick. I think this passage is probably the toughest of all though because He is not talking to the “lost” – He is talking to the “followers.”

He identifies a problem for some of us. We claim to be “followers” but in fact we are “lost!” Whoa… That is heartbreaking. Now the first thing to point out in this – is this is not some threat from Jesus that was saying – “Careful that you don’t make any mistakes – because if you do… Welllll, you just might not be safe!” It’s not that at all. He’s talking to those that claim Him but never change inside. Ever known anyone like that? I wish I could say I didn’t … but of course I think we all do. I’ve known people who have claimed Christ longer than I’ve lived – and I don’t think anyone else would ever in a million years imagine that they were Christ Followers – except if they hear them make that claim verbally… and then they are confused as to that it must mean to be a Christ Follower. We all know people like that. – showing a million different traits in their day to day lives – none of which are Christ-like. Traits like greed, bitterness, hatred, anger, fear, selfishness, judging, condemning… unfortunately the list goes on and on.

Now I am not in a position – nor is anyone else – to judge who is or is not “saved.” Thankfully – that is between each of us and God. But it is easy to see what Jesus was talking about. Us just saying we KNOW HIM is not enough. There are some who will claim Him their whole life and will still hear those words from Him one day – “I never knew you; depart from me…” Let me tell you something right here… You already know … deep down inside… if this is you or not. I promise you – it’s the kind of thing you need to trust your gut – or better yet, your heart with. Again – I’m NOT talking about the person who has a guilty conscience about every wrong you have ever committed. Don’t read this and start to wonder – “Oh my gosh… I think there was a test I looked on someone else’s paper in the 8th grade and I never asked for forgiveness!!! I am lost!!! Whoa is me!!!” Just stop it. You know what I am talking about when I say search your heart. I’m talking about whether or not you live a life lived consistently in the footsteps of Christ. Just like it says in 1 John2:6, “whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.”

Jesus wasn’t talking about us being perfect. Of course we can’t be – we are human – completely imperfect. It’s all about where our hearts are. Do we strive to pursue Him – or do we pursue our own desires – hoping for a death be confession which I have always called the “Get Out Of Jail Free” card approach. We carry it around in our wallet ready to cash it in when the time comes. It’s a dangerous way to go guys. As you know – the game sometimes ends and you never got to play that card. I lived a great deal of my life that way – believing it was enough to claim Him and still pursuing my own way. Had I kept pursuing that… I am sure that my conversation with Him one day – would not have been one I enjoyed. But thankfully – I do know Him and He knows me. And that forgiveness I taught about a couple of weeks ago is very real for me – an unlikely pastor – and I pray it is for you too. Keep pursuing Him with reckless abandon and throw your Get Out Of Jail Free card away.

Like everyone over the last few days I have been watching for news items about the Costa Concordia cruise ship that began to sink off the coast of Italy on January 13th… Had this happened miles out in the ocean I am sure the death toll would have been so much higher… No consolation at all for the families of – what as of today is believed to be – 32 victims (11 confirmed deaths and 21 missing) of the tragic accident.

As with all tragedies and horrific accidents that make headlines – the media clamors to break stories that will win them the next pulitzer or garner a bigger share of the public attention. I know it’s their job… this is not a critique of the media – it does irritate me though – can you tell? That’s for another time though … Some of the stories that are already surfacing are heart wrenching … Like this one about a couple was celebrating the 60th birthday of the wife… The cruise was a gift from their family. When the ship began to sink – the hsuband put his life jacket on his wife and she made it to shore – but unfortunately he did not. Read it here.

Other stories are heart breaking – not in the overcome with love and awe sort of way – but in the horrified and disgusted variety of heart break. Heart break that as a society we have fallen so low… Like the story about the fact that many men on board the ship were practically trampling women and children to get into life boats to save themselves. Wow. Really? I thought it was some kind of maritime rule actually that women and children get in the life boats first… but thanks to handy-dandy Wikipedia – I found out that it isn’t a rule – just chivalry. The best documented case of this long standing tradition – not rule – was the HMS Birkenhead in 1845. It is usually credited as the birth of that famous phrase – “women and children first.”

This second story - about men jumping in life boats to save themselves … and especially the news of the captain leaving the ship before most of the passengers… has the world outraged. Rightly so. But one blogger I was reading took a very cynical point of view – saying that he saw nothing wrong with it. That these men were just following instinct – the instinct to survive. He said that in nature – only humans follow the ridiculous protocol of saving the weak. That in all of the rest of nature – it is survival of the fittest, the strongest, the quickest.

Maybe survival of the fittest makes sense to him… but not really to me. Honestly – when we lose our desire to protect the weak, to care for the sick, to put others before ourselves… It’s not going to be survival of the fittest – It’s the beginning of the end. Our society is only as good as our moral compass. When we become a people who only look out for number one – all is lost. But thankfully – I know that the actions of a few are not representative of the many. I KNOW deep down in my soul that for the majority of us … we want to protect, to care, to love… and there is an eternal truth woven into the very fabric of our DNA. A truth that says our species does not depend on survival of the fastest, strongest and fittest … it depends on our capacity to love one another, to build relationships together, to take care of one another and make a difference in the lives of those around us. It’s about way more than just survival… It’s about more than just loving life – its about living our life in love.

“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends… So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13:7-8, 13. Yep. That says it best and I couldn’t agree more.

It’s so hard to believe he was only 39 years old when he was killed… Martin Luther King, Jr: 1929-1968 “Well done good and faithful servant…”

Today… I am struggling. My mind is going 100 directions at once and I cannot stay focused. I am hoping that writing here a little bit will help me get my thoughts centered.

Lately I find myself stumbling over the same 2 or 3 questions all the time in regard to my ministry… the questions all revolve around the same concept… Is the state/direction of The Church today what Jesus had in mind when He established it? Is The Church really fulfilling His vision? … Anything I say right here will sound like criticism of any number of specific churches but I promise you it is not intended as such. This is really just about me and my own rasslins’ with God over what He wants to see. I have long desired to see The Church go back to simpler methods… All of the showmanship;  the latest, greatest technologies; the multi-million dollar rooms; the message series with clever hooks; the $1,000 dollar suits on pastors with $100 haircuts; the high tech productions and programming – are they necessary to really get the attention of a lost world? That’s where it turns into the classic argument I know. That we need to do everything possible to get people in the seats so their souls belong to Jesus. I get it… But does it really have to be that? I mean just because Steven Spielberg needs $250 million dollars to produce a Hollywood Blockbuster to hold my attention – do I really have to try and compete with that for someone to give Jesus a chance? Maybe it sounds like sour grapes … Maybe you read it and think that my church probably just can’t afford all of those bells and whistles and so that’s why I am crying about it… Well it is true that we couldn’t afford the million dollar upgrade to our stage … But I promise you right now that even if we had it I wouldn’t spend it on the stage… And I am not criticizing technology like some amish farmer in northern Indiana. I have an iPhone and macbook and I love to play ps3 while I listen to my iPod … I am somewhat cool and hip as you kids say today… I’m just not sure it’s needed for us to be like the church described in Acts 2:42-47.

What if the Jesus people came to know was the Jesus that walked the Earth 2,000 years ago? What if it was the Jesus who loved to tell stories and spend time in people’s homes, breaking bread with the cheats, liars and thieves, drinking wine with the prostitutes, tax collectors and adulterers. What if they got to know the Jesus that was unashamedly about loving the unloved, admonishing the self righteous, and breaking rank with the establishment? I keep wondering if it isn’t time for a reset? I keep wondering if the decline in church attendance world wide isn’t because we aren’t effectively competing with the bigger, better entertainment and activities but that we shouldn’t be trying to compete with them at all. What if instead of becoming bigger churches we became more loving and authentic? Are families better served and better equipped to follow in the steps of Jesus because of the million dollar sound systems and HD screens in their church of 10,000+ people? Or are they better served by being shown model of authentically loving one another – building real relationships with some close friends that they walk with daily – meeting each others needs – searching out opportunities in their immediate community to have real impact and make a real difference right where they live – all so that people see the relevance of a relationship with Jesus Christ? Maybe I am just a naive simpleton with dreams and aspirations that are too small for the 21st century church. Or maybe the 21st century church is going to change and re-adapt to the 1st century church…. Maybe.

So here is my 2 cents… Tim Tebow is free to practice his prayer time, conversations with God, worship, praise, etc anyway he likes… It is an amazing freedom that has been gained for us as Americans with blood, sweat and tears. That freedom, though, affords his detractors the same luxury to publicly disparage and ridicule him for it. A big part of the uproar I hear from Christians is that if Tim Tebow was a muslim or if he were a minority – no one would be criticizing him…

Yes it’s true that anyone in a minority will be treated with more kid-gloves – especially in the media … We are a country that has always struggled with equality… Our dark past includes slavery and civil rights atrocities – which should give us all good reason to be sensitive. Mr. Tebow is a white, evangelical christian. I don’t think any of us in that category have ever been subject to wholesale violations of our basic human rights here in the US. I think we can take the brunt of criticisms in the media. Oooooooh Bill Maher is so mean to us! Ouch! Let’s toughen up shall we? Tim Tebow seems to be the only white evangelical Christian in America that has been ok with the criticism and appears to be handling it well. So let’s not make it about race or religion or anything else. It’s about rights – our rights to pray out loud and the rights of someone else to laugh at that. Personally – I am fairly certain I will never kneel down in public with my hand to my forehead to display that I am thanking God for something… And I ‘m pretty sure God is ok with that … just like I am very sure He is more than ok with Mr. Tebow choosing TO DO that.

So as to all of the detractors and the ones who LOVE to HATE “Tebowing” … I like that they are lashing out at it! I think it is awesome! The more people like Bill Maher (who I think is hilarious btw) that make fun of Tim Tebow – the more I am certain they are actually searching for something. They are trying TOO hard to destroy and tear down if they are really so convinced that God is imaginary. I mean they don’t take on personal vendettas with Santa Claus or the tooth fairy or big foot. Jesus really gets them riled up though and He has always been so good at doing that.

If anything good comes from the new term in our public conscious – “Tebowing” – it is that God is in the conversation of those missing from God and we have an opportunity to discuss His relevance in our everyday, walking around lives. God is still GOD no matter what anyone says or screams about it. God is still GOD even though Bill Maher derides him. God is still GOD even when televangelists and pimp suit wearing preachers give the world so many easy things to ridicule and make fun of. God is still God even when churches profess hate on signs at soldier funerals. God is still God. God will always be GOD. We just simply are called to show the world – daily – who God is by the way we live and love… walking as Jesus did when He was here.

So go ahead Tim… Keep on Tebowing … and go ahead Bill … keep trying to convince us that you aren’t searching. God loves you both and loves opportunities to converse with you  - on your knee in a football end zone or in the quiet of the night alone in your prayer closet. God… Is.

Is truth subjective – or is it universal? And what is our responsibility in telling it?

I am a huge fan of The Three Stooges. I have been my whole life. I celebrate their entire catalog on DVD and I know many – way too many – of the 3 Stooges shorts by heart… (Don’t judge me. They are hilarious and actually a very good social commentary if you give them a chance.) One of my favorite shorts of all time is Disorder In The Court… You can watch it here. (Yes – that was a frivolous exercise – but hopefully you appreciate my beloved Stooges!!) In one of the scenes Curly is about to be sworn in to testify and the court bailiff asks him – “do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?” – his eventual answer is – “certainly, what do I have to lose?” Of course nothing on The Three Stooges ever gets done quickly or smoothly – you have to watch the clip for the true comedic brilliance of who they were … But Curly’s is answer really true? Sometimes – truth costs a lot. Sometimes telling it can cost you dearly – and hearing it – can hurt like crazy. And sometimes – we just flat misuse it.

We tend to think of “truth” as very black and white. Like – the answer to the simple math equation: 1 + 1 = … The answer is always 2. That is simple truth. Or even if you are in court – as Curly found himself – and you are asked if you witnessed such and such event on such and such date – the answer is either yes or no. You can’t give a maybe on the witness stand. You either saw it or you didn’t. And that is the lens that a lot of us tend to look at the world through. It’s black or white, yes or no, 1 + 1 = 2. Period. Truth is universal. Simple.

And actually – I agree with that, partly. I agree that truth is universal – but it’s not always so simple. Sometimes it’s very complicated… and the complication comes in – in both the telling of it and the receiving of it. And for us as Christ followers – sometimes it gets ridiculously complicated. Here’s what I mean: Telling the truth is not enough … we have to live it as well. Not so simple

Stop for just a second and think through this example with me… Let’s say there is a father of a teenage daughter and she comes home and says “dad? my boyfriend and I want to move in together because we are in love and we are ready to take this step together.” Now – after you imagine yourself probably being peeled down off of the ceiling – your response would probably be something like “NO!” Rightly so – I mean we know God’s plan is for us to fall in love and marry and become one in His eyes. That is very simple truth. But what if that teenage daughter knows that her dad is in a sexual relationship with his own girlfriend. Maybe they don’t “live together” because they still have their own homes but is dad both telling truth and living in truth? What if the example isn’t as morally cut and dry? What if the example is a friend you have that loves to point out every single thing wrong they see in the world, in the lives of their friends and family, in their church… and they seem to enjoy pointing them out to you. Maybe even scripturally – the wrongs they point out are accurate. Maybe according to God’s plan – the wrongs they are pointing out are reallllllly really wrong. But – this very person is also doing something very much outside of God’s plan and you know about it… maybe you know they cheat on their taxes, or they speed like a maniac on the highway, maybe they treat their spouse terribly, maybe their kids are completely out of control, maybe they are selfish and won’t even as much as tip a waiter or waitress… You probably already have someone in mind right now – don’t you? It’s ok. I have about 17 of them in mind myself. Hearing simple truth from them is not so simple. In fact – you probably don’t want to hear it from them at all.

See that’s where it gets complicated. You can hear that certain someone – like you are picturing in your mind right now – speak simple, Biblical, truths – but it rings so hollow because they don’t live out what they are saying. They tell truth – but it’s pointless! As a pastor it is a really hard thing to take sometimes. You find yourself criticized for even the smallest decisions … and then you see some of the life choices of the people who are criticizing you are making and you just want to hammer back with ” OH YEAH… WELL WHAT ABOUT WHEN YOU…?” But of course it’s not helpful for any of us to ever do that. Arguing with someone’s head is a fruitless proposition. You throw back “hard cold truth” at a Truth Sayer who isn’t also Living In Truth and they will not hear it… In fact they will just dig harder to uncover some other issue that also needs to have light shed on it. It is a head argument that never stops. As Christ followers – we really should stay in our hearts. It’s just hard to do that sometimes. I know it is for me… because I think I have at least a halfway decent brain and it gets anxious sometimes to get into a scrap. And so I have to fight – at times – to keep my heart in charge.

So what to do with the Truth Tellers Who Aren’t Truth Livers of the world? Love them anyway. My grandma had a phrase – “love the meanness out of someone” … And really that is what is happening sometimes… truth is being spoken not from love – but from meanness, from bitterness… from a desire to focus on anything except what might really be a root issue of that person’s own life. It is so much easier to point out the sins and the mistakes and wrongs of everyone else than it might be to deal with their own hurts and disappointments and mistakes. As humans – we can easily fool ourselves into believing that the everyone but ourselves has all the issues… Because our brains are wired to solve problems… Just usually not our own.

I found myself one time dealing with a situation where someone came to me with an issue they felt that, I, as the pastor should be aware of and deal with. They had heard that someone who volunteered for me was in fact not really a Christian because they played in a secular band on the weekends and had on many occasions been seen not just drinking at the bars they played in – but had indeed – been drunk! Gasp! NOw I will tell you – my immediate thought was to blast back at this person that had come to me with this “concern.” I wanted to ask them – when was the last time you ever showed anyone one ounce of love. When is the last time you ever went and asked this person you are skewering here if they needed a friend or someone to talk to. When was the last time you you volunteered a minute of your time to help others in need. I wanted to scream at them – are you kidding me?!?! Your idea of being a “good Christian” is the fact that you are here every Sunday and you help serve communion! Really?!? You need me to know that this other person drinks alcohol and that I need to deal with them? (Deep Breath.) Which is exactly what I did – I took a deep breath – I didn’t say all of that other stuff – because I wouldn’t have been “loving the meanness out of them” – I would have just been mean back … So instead I took a deep breath and I asked – “What did the other person say when you went to them about this?” They looked at me like they didn’t understand the question. So I asked again – “what did they say?” … The reply – “well I didn’t talk to them directly! That’s your responsibility!” We then talked a little about how – no – in fact that was not the case – but we mostly talked about some additional truths – in love. We talked about the grace and mercy that Jesus showed and shows to all of us. We talked about circumstances that potentially this person hadn’t even thought of – like were the rumors even true since they hadn’t actually seen this themselves, like was it possible this person didn’t need an accuser but maybe needed a friend, like what would Jesus’ response have been to hearing about a brother who was struggling with potentially devastating circumstances that were driving them to drink to excess … We talked about a lot – and honestly I don’t know how much of it they heard. There was still a desire that they had to stay focused on the problems of others. But it wasn’t an argument – and I stayed true to my heart … and really was able to love them through it…

It’s really interesting to me that the one person who had a right to come to Earth and focus on pointing out all of the wrongs, all of the mistakes, all of the evil in our world – instead chose to come to Earth to spread mercy and grace and to not condemn us but to free us… to walk with us… to love us. Truth can’t just be told… it has to be lived out… In love! What if that was how we spread the Simple Truth? Not just in its telling – but in the living of it. What if our words matched our motions all of the time? What if instead of focusing on what’s wrong – we focused more on what’s right and desired for others to see that too? What if we weren’t so worried about what others are doing or are not doing and instead focused on what we ourselves are doing? What if we truly tried to walk in the footsteps of Jesus? What if that was our truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Well… I think Curly’s answer is best… “Certainly… what do we have to lose?”

It is so hard for me to believe that 2011 year is almost over. Time is such a weird thing… It never seems constant. As a kid – I remember always feeling like that the 30 or so days between Thanksgiving and Christmas were the longest 30 days of the whole year. Of course being the little heathen that I was – it was not in anticipation of the birth of Baby Jesus – but instead it was in anticipation of the Stretch Armstrong or Sony Walkman or Atari 2600 I was expecting to get… (Yes for you youngsters those were all real products – just go hit Google to look them up.) And even as I began to grow to be a teenager and became too cool to be “excited” about – well anything – I secretly still lived in anticipation of what gifts December 25th would bring.

I guess that’s why the debate that always come up at this time of year over the phrases “Merry Christmas” vs. “Happy Holidays” somewhat annoys me. If I am honest – the only part Christ really played for me in Christmas was that he was the little baby that was always the center of our ceramic nativity scene on the fireplace hearth. One of my favorite things to do was actually to hide the little guy … or replace him with one of the sheep or to add army men to the manger scene having them do battle with the shepherds. It just wasn’t real to me. It was a playset – but instead of awesome GI Joe figures with kung-fu grips – they were ceramic figurines that didn’t do anything cool. Christmas was really just a very happy holiday to me growing up. The presents were real … but Jesus wasn’t.

That’s a really sad confession… That Jesus wasn’t real to me. I certainly did know about him. We went to a very staunch, conservative 3 services a week baptist church. You went on Sunday morning, Sunday evening and Wednesday night. And when it was revival time every year – you went every night at least 1 or 2 weeks a year. And I hated every minute of it. I especially hated it on years when Christmas would fall on a Sunday. AWW MAN! Church before presents. Booo! But like I said – Jesus wasn’t real to me. He was a story in a dusty old book that was crazy boring to read. And His Dad, God? He was a grouchy, mean, vindictive old man who hated all of us. And the Holy Spirit? I didn’t know what to think of Him… Other than I had seen people get what they called “slain in the spirit” at our church and they would fall down or faint or talk funny when they met Him and so I certainly wanted nothing to do with that being haunted by that Holy Ghost. Jesus wasn’t real to me. God was scary. And the Holy Spirit was some kind of haunting spirit that made you go crazy from time to time. No wonder that Rockem-Sockem Robots was all I really wanted Christmas morning to be about. So that very sacrilegious view of the Trinity was what I carried for a great deal of my life. I wish that I could say that when I grew up – I laid down those views of who God is. I mean I did eventually of course but I wasted a lot of time carrying a bunch or garbage and baggage.

I find it really curious to wonder what the pastors at the churches I grew up in thought of me? Or what they thought, I thought about God? Because for the life of me I cannot remember a single one of them ever asking me what I really thought or felt. It was always telling me what to think and how to feel because it was what I was supposed to think and feel. I can remember a few times trying to explain what was going on in my head and always being brushed aside. One time, believe it or not, I got slapped in the face by one of my sunday school teachers because I asked why it was impossible for satan to ask for forgiveness. Ahhhhh memories… Now I could go on and on and on about why it is the fault and the missed opportunities of all of those pastors and Sunday school teachers when I was growing up as to why I didn’t have a good relationship with Jesus … but I won’t… Because ultimately the relationship – or lack of one – is up to me. While there may have been example after example of opportunities missed between a pastor and me over the years – there was eventually one who did take an interest in me. And he began to minister to me and to help me understand who Jesus really is. Who God is. Who the Holy Spirit is. He was truly interested in me KNOWING God – not just knowing “of” Him. And that was when the relationship with Him became real to me. When I took responsibility for walking in the footsteps of Jesus and following after Him.

If I’m honest – I did learn valuable lessons from those early experiences in church. I can still, for the most part, recite a lot of scripture – although some of it is still in my brain in King James version; I also have a very good mental database of the major stories and themes from all 66 books; I can turn to any of those books in the Bible without having to look in the concordance; and, I think, most importantly – I know what not to do as a pastor. I really do count it all as valuable lessons, valuable life experience that makes me the person I am today – or the person I am not. The person I am… loves Jesus. I want my kids to love Him and KNOW Him. I am so proud of how my 5 year old son asks questions like – “How can God and Jesus be the same person?” or “If Jesus is in Heaven how can He be here too?” I hope and pray that he and my 2 year old daughter ask really tough questions of God as they grow up. I hope and pray that they both wrestle with the nature of God and desire to have a better understanding of who He is. I hope and pray that they never encounter anyone who would desire to silence their tough – even sacrilegious – questions. I hope and pray that they both… hope and pray.

This Christmas – I hope and pray that if you get aggravated at someone saying Happy Holidays – it’s because Christmas really is important to you because of who Jesus is – not because of it going against your traditions. I hope and pray – that if you haven’t yet – that you encounter who Jesus really is. I hope and pray that He isn’t just a little ceramic figure in your nativity scene. I hope and pray that you too – are hoping…. and praying. I am hoping and praying for you.